homework #1

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The first bit of writing for my class - why do I want to be a childbirth educator?


My own pregnancy and childbirth experiences were truly amazing and transformational, for many reasons, and in great part thanks to the active birth classes I took. I was fortunate enough to live a 30 minute walk away from The Active Birth Centre in London when I was pregnant with my son (my first, if you don't count a previous miscarriage). It is a wonderful place, a comfortable and welcoming community. I used the place well, saw the osteopath there, did post-natal mum and baby yoga, bought the best organic cotton maternity bras that were quite stylish,

bought a 'homeopathy for labor' kit of remedies, hired my birthing pool from them- and, most importantly my husband and I took the active birth classes that Janet Balaskas taught there.

The classes are really what inspires me to teach a class of my own. Between what I learned and what I felt deeply inside me I have been fascinated since that pregnancy by women and birth in our culture. I was fortunate enough to have beautiful birth experiences, and I think, in large part, that was due to the preparation I did physically and emotionally during pregnancy. Janet's classes focused on active birth yet she was non-judgmental about other preferences. Her role was to educate, inspire discussion, generally share with everyone the knowledge that women can give birth, naturally. I went to a very sweet pre-natal yoga class, an active birth yoga class, held in a cozy attic room in a big old London house. Lots of cushions and blankets, lots of meditation, but most importantly everyone in the group shared their week before the class started. After the yoga and meditation (lying down with lots of pillows and bean bags, dimmed lighting) we would sit and drink herbal tea and talk. When people had their new babies they would bring them to visit at this time. They would share their birth stories – when I had my baby I didn't feel the need to go anywhere much or visit people in the early days, but the one place I really wanted to go was back to yoga class to show my baby and share my story! When Nilsson was one week old we got on 2 buses across London on a cold January night to do so! The community and support is so important for women at this time. When I first saw that the class structure ALACE suggests has the last class potluck and bringing together of the new mums and the ready-to-be mums, I was reminded of how important that was to me in my pregnancy and beyond.

So my main motivation for being a childbirth educator is to be able to achieve what Janet achieved in her classes. To be a place where women and couples can come to be in community while they explore their beliefs and learn so that they can make informed choices. I'd like to be someone who can facilitate women trusting in their bodies and their maternal instinct and helping to bridge the gap between what women really know instinctively and what they are told they don't know because others know better.

Other motivations are rather 'possible positive outcomes' than motivations at this point. It would be nice if women in my class would like to try Bowen work, which is so helpful during pregnancy, labor and for new mums and babies. I don't intend to talk about it at all except in introducing myself, but I hope that some women will be interested as we all get to know each other. It would be great to have that connection with my Bowen 'clients'.

donations only please...

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I've had a difficult time accepting money for my body/energy work 'services' over the years. This manifests practically as feeling uncomfortable when people ask me how much I charge. I feel apologetic. I don't think that I feel this way because of a sense that what I offer is not good enough, it's more just that I don't feel comfortable charging a set fee of money for that kind of work. I feel better about the work if I am doing a more informal trade or a free treatment for a friend.

I've been trying to work through why it is that I am not attracting an abundance of interest in my work?

'Clients'... I think that on a subtle level it is largely due to a resistance I have to doing this for a living, even though I thought for a long time that to have a busy
practice would be my ideal work situation. As I become more fulfilled in the other work I am doing, in my studies and in my home life, I realize I have rented office space to practice out of this whole time because it was a way of being positive - look! I do this! I have an office! I will become fulfilled! (some day in the future...)

So, what a great relief it is to realize all of a sudden that I don't even need an office. I can still practice as and when there is interest, and do home visits. Here is where the change comes in though - I've decided that from now on I will not charge a fee for Bowen work. I want to be able to provide this to as many people as are interested in it and I have long been troubled by the fact that only people with money can afford $50 a session. I can't, lots of other people can't, and lots of people can afford it but feel guilty spending money on something so 'indulgent'. Even having a sliding scale excludes some, and means that people have to ask about it. Some people feel guilty about not being able to pay the full price, so having to ask for a reduced rate can create anxiety.

I haven't really followed through all my initial thoughts on how this will all work, but I'm thinking donations. Simply free doesn't work for a lot of people because it's hard to believe that something that you don't pay for is 'worth' anything.

Donation can be monetary if people feel they can afford it, and whatever feels comfortable to them, not too much money, not too little - both of these often evoke guilt and anxiety! Here's the fun bit though! People who do not feel they can afford to give monetary payment can bring something else. It could be a trade of services that they could offer. It could be something they have made, or a flower from their garden, an old book they'd like to share. The important thing is that from the very start they are aware that I am not attached to getting money. Receiving something beautiful, heartfelt, useful would be a rich experience in true community.

I'm loving this idea and I feel a huge freedom from even contemplating how much more at ease I will feel about my work, and my life in general. These are my true ideals and I am slowly working out little ways to live them fully.